After a long, and I do mean long six months, I’m finally back in the saddle. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. Without further ado let me introduce “the Little Woman”. I still need to make a couple of minor changes and additions to her but that won’t take long. Hopefully in the next week or two we’ll get to know one another very very well.
I’d like to thank everyone for sticking with me and continuing to read my postings. I didn’t know if I would still have readers after I stopped writing about rides and what not. Fortunately the outpouring of support was overwhelming from you folks. For that I am forever grateful and indebted to you. I look forward to getting back to riding and writing and enjoying some sanity.
For whatever reason I find myself questioning some of the choices I’ve made. I suppose we all do this from time to time. Perhaps it’s because I have a week’s vacation looming and as usual the plans I’d made have fallen apart. Probably just as well they did anyway.
I’m really not sure why I even make plans. It seems they always get broken before they come to fruition. I think the idea of what was planed has brought me through the past few months. The excitement of the what ifs. The challenge of making it all come together. Especially the possibilities that were discussed. I could all but see it actually happening.
A hundred years from now it won’t matter anyway. None of us will even be here to discuss this. It’s all about the brief fleeting moment at hand anyway. That’s all life is. Just one brief fleeting moment after another. We can only grasp at those moments.
Sometimes, when we are fortunate enough, we capture a moment. For it’s that moment that turns into a memory. It’s that memory that sustains us. That remembrance of that happy moment. That feeling of pain in that sad moment.
I believe that when those special moments collide within our memories that its then and only then that teardrops are formed.
This year I decided to try a small raised bed garden. Now this is an experiment in that I planted everything way too close together. The purpose will be to see if it will work. Granted this isn’t my first garden. Growing up Daddy always had a garden or two. They would vary in size from one in the side yard all the way up to an acre or so.As you can see this little bed is crammed full of stuff. The blank area to the right has beans, peas and okra planted in it. It’s been fun to watch the plants growing. Hopefully they’ll even produce some good food. I may even have to thin out some of the plants once things start maturing.Although it’s nothing like the gardens of my past, I’m still having fun with it. I’ve already thought of adding another one too. Not to mention I need to prepare the bed along the fence row that you see behind this bed. All this spells fun times spent outside. It’s somewhat soothing to piddle with too. I enjoy checking things out in the mornings when I get home from work.
We’ve all had things happen in our daily walk of life that crack us up. I for some reason seem to have more than most people. Perhaps it’s the fact that I try and be overly aware of my surroundings. Anyway, recently one such thing happened and I thought I’d share it with you.
I was standing at a urinal in one of my regular rest stops. You don’t exactly have your head on a swivel in this situation. Nonetheless you are aware of people coming in and going out of the facilities. Here comes this old guy making his way up to the urinal next to the one I’m using. No big deal. It’s around 3:30 in the morning but this place is always busy no matter the time of day.
This crusty old guy proceeds to tear one off about a foot and a half long. That’s right, he cranked out a fart from the depths of his bowels that damn near rattled the dividers. I couldn’t help but look over at him.
This old codger had to be in his late 70s or early 80s. He had on his crotchety old man starter kit. You could tell he was a snowbird headed back up North after spending the winter down South. This old man was standing there with a huge shit eating grin on his face and his shoulders where jumping up and down. Not a sound was coming from his mouth mind you. Perhaps he figured his ass spoke enough already.
I couldn’t help but laugh. I hope I live long enough to be able to get by with the things these old crotchety bastards get by with. Lord knows I’ve been practicing for years.
Oh the things I see and experience in this life I live.
Do you remember that feeling you had when you were a kid looking at a store display through a window? You get right up as close as you can. You even place your face and hands against the glass to soak in all the goodness on the other side. Was it that toy train or those cars and trucks? Maybe it was that puppy at the pet store. You could almost feel the fur against your cheek as you cuddled with that pup. Well in your mind you were cuddling it at least.
Sometimes I feel like that now. I see what I want. The very thing that would make my life complete. Well at least the way I’ve thought of life anyway. I can almost touch and feel the prize. Sometimes perhaps I actually do for brief spans of time. But, and there seems to always be a but, just like a library book you have to return it to it’s rightful “owner”.
We can hold the book. We touch and finger the pages. We soak in the information. We admire the beauty of both the photographs and drawings. The best pictures are the ones that we paint in our minds. The ones that the words draw for us. Those are the most intimate ones.
Glass is an insulator. For that reason it can protect us. Unfortunately it can also harm or kill us. When it shatters it can cut you to the bone. For that reason we have to use caution when we press ourselves so tightly against it. If it’s not thick enough we’ll break it.
Here in lies the quandary. How far do you push the glass? How much pressure do you place against it trying to get closer to that prize you desire so deeply? We really don’t know for sure. Most of the time we only find out when it’s too late. By then the damage is done.
Either the prize has been taken by someone else, or the prize wasn’t really meant to be ours in the first place. Once in a great while though, when we persevere long enough, the prize is ours. That’s when the prize is truly cherished.
Do you have your eye on the prize?
I spent a nice couple of days away for my birthday this year. I enjoyed some peaceful four wheeler riding and camping at the wonderful Land Between the Lakes Turkey Bay OHV area.
Being out in the woods and enjoying the solitude of this area through the week was wonderful. It was just what I needed to recharge my batteries.
I always find it a tad bit humorous when someone asks me if I’m going to so and so for whatever gathering. The look on their faces are always priceless when I say that it’s the first I’ve heard of it. Then there’s that awkward silent pause. I have to laugh just a little on the inside.
Some things never really change with time. I’ve never been on the A list. Well unless you count when someone needs a strong back and a truck, trailer, or someone to drive a rented truck. Then oddly enough I’m one of the first called. Hmmmm.
To me the thing that’s even worse than this is when the activity is already in progress and you happen to contact someone who’s on the A list. You get the “hey we’re all down at such and such. You should come join us.” Um, no. It’s the afterthought invite. Yeah I think I’ll be passing on that one too.
Here’s another good one. You know when you are in on the planning stages of an event or trip. You’ve worked out where to go and when. You’ve got the work schedule in order so you can make said trip. Then BAM! You find out that it’s been decided that the rest of the group has changed plans. Yeah we’re leaving earlier than agreed upon. Knowing full well you won’t be off work by then. The best part is when they say that they weren’t planning on you going.
Don’t ya just love it? These are the same people that want you to take them on all these out of the way trips you go on. They wonder why you do things by yourself. They don’t understand why you spend so much time alone.
Working a schedule on the opposite axis as most of the rest of the world doesn’t help either. Relationships of any kind are hard enough. Add the odd work schedule and it’s exaggerated. These same people see how difficult it is to have relationships with friends are the very ones always asking why you don’t date.
Not to mention the fact that you’ve pretty much put your life on hold to care for two elderly family members. Single handed mind you. For this I’m very grateful to be able to do. Although it is very taxing mentally and physically. You get to the point to where you just put out the fires that pop up in your path. You don’t hope for the best. You don’t prepare for the worst. You simply take care of the situation at hand.
In trying to prepare yourself for this task you’ve sold the one object that was your escape. The one thing that took you places physically mentally and emotionally to that happy place. To the places of the past when times were good. To the places and people who made you into the man you are today.
Thank God for those people and places of my past. For if it were not for them I couldn’t do what needs to be done.