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Category Archives: Life

New Begining

For years I’ve been carrying many forms of burdens.  Somehow I’ve survived. It hasn’t been easy at all. Now it’s time for me to completely move on from those burdens. To say it has taxed me financially, physically and emotionally is an understatement.

In a sense I will be looking at my life as being somewhat retired. Now I’m just working for me. My child is no longer a child. Graduating from High School and already reaching the age of 18 means they are an adult. It also means I no longer have any need to have involvement with my ex-wife. Thank God for that.

The relationship with my offspring is all but non-existent. I’ve reached out one more time. The ball is in their court. What they decide will be entirely up to them. I’ve left an open invitation. They can either accept it and choose to communicate with me or refuse. Their choice. Nothing more for me to do.

I’ve come to terms with all this. I’ve also learned that while I will still plan for my future, I won’t dwell on it. Each day I’ll live my life how I choose to live it.

Nuff Said!

Paying My Debt To The Devil

Lately it seems every time I visit with my Mother that she has something rather deep and meaningful to say to me. Perhaps I’m noticing it more these days. When you’ve lived for eighty-nine years you can’t help but gather tremendous knowledge.  Being able to share that knowledge is a gift. Those of us on the receiving end need to realize that gift and cherish it.

It’s no secret that I’m the lone caregiver to both my Mother and my Aunt. I’m happy to be able to do for them. Granted at times it can get overwhelming. I press on. I do what I can. Sometimes there will be someone come into my life that I trust enough to try to let them help. Unfortunately that’s about the same time that they turn away. Just the nature of people I suppose.

Happenings such as this, among other things, are why I don’t depend on anyone else. I’ve learned through the years to try not to expect anything from anyone. Granted there are a rare few people who have always been there no matter what. For the most part though when someone says they will always be there for you, that’s not what they mean. Always has very different definitions for most folks.

This past weekend while doing some things for my Mother, she said something that hit close to home. She told me that I was paying my debt to the devil. That taking care of two old women and the troubled relationships from my past are what’s paying that debt. I’ve never thought of it as paying a debt. In fact I’ve never thought of not taking care of them.

I made a promise to my Daddy many years ago that I would always take care of them. I’m a man of my word.  People may hate me for many reasons. One thing is certain. I do what I say. In those rare instances that I can’t do what I say, I will give a reason why.  One of my many faults is being brutally honest. People don’t like honesty. They want you to tell them what they want to hear.

For now I’ll keep right on paying my debt to the devil. Someday it may even be paid in full.

 

Ride Safe

Ronman

 

 

A Year Old

Soon the “Little Woman” will be a year old. My how that time period has changed things. I sit and think about what destinations I have in mind for the coming year and I can’t help but reflect over the rides of the past year. I enjoyed a short ride with my good friend the “Love Buzzard”. This was an impromptu little journey but it represented some very major strides.

This shot was taken  over in the Ozarks. Some of the best roads to ride anywhere. If you haven’t been you really need to go.

The trip to Cumberland Falls was certainly humid and hot. It was still good to spend a couple of days exploring the back roads of Tennessee and Kentucky.

Then I think of a ride to a site so that I could reflect on a wonderful friend that has left this world. To see the paint left on the guard rail to remind you how everything can change in an instant. Rickey always helped others. It was after the accident that happened here while he was helping the other people that he had a heart attack and left us.

Although it doesn’t look it in this photo, it was a cool fall day. Granted it wasn’t as cold as the night before. Especially after the sun went down. I won’t ever forget the damn White Squirrel Festival. Maybe I’ll ride over into North Carolina just to visit that damn festival. It caused a trip down to South Carolina to find a place to hole up for the night.

I suppose all in all it wasn’t a bad year of riding. Granted I didn’t ride the miles of years past. But a decent amount nonetheless. In another year’s time it will be interesting to look back through the photographs and remember the places I traveled to.  I think the thing I enjoy the most is finding America. Taking the time to see the oft forgotten back roads. Seeing the remnants of times past. The history of what made this country great.

The coming months will be more of the Ronman rides of old. More unplanned adventures. More just heading out with no particular point in mind. Just seeing where the journey takes me. I hope you’ll stop by to see where I’ve been.

Ride Safe

Ronman

Have You Seen This Woman?

Because I Enjoy It So

I checked on the girls today. That means I hauled the trash off for my Aunt and myself. She always has to come outside and make sure I get all of it. You know because I take the partial bags and combine them. That always makes her think I left some of it.

Then I drove to Nashville to take my Mother some tomato plants. Found the brand she loves. Been about three years since I’ve found any of them. To say she was happy is an understatement. She’s 89 in case you didn’t know.

She looked exhausted so I asked her what she’d been up to. She showed me a spot in the corner of one of her flower beds that she’d been weeding. There was a tiny spot that she’d cleaned off. I asked her how long she worked on it and she said three hours. I told her that I would do it for her and then she said something that stopped me dead in my tracks.

“I don’t know when it will be the last time I get to do this. I do it because I enjoy it so.”

She is going down hill. It’s tough to have to watch and not be able to do anything about it. Just like those three long years I had to watch my Daddy die. But one thing is certain. She’s enjoying messing with her flower beds and pulling weeds. I know she’s happy.

It all started with a text

There I was sitting at home thinking about life. Thinking about what I had in mind for the day. Thinking about how a wonderful evening the night before had gone to shit. It was one of those mornings that had completely put me out of the mood from doing the things I had in mind to do.  Then it happened.

I could hear the vibrations of my cell phone on the chest of drawers. Who on earth could this be? I was surprised at who it was. It was a text that simply stated we are wanting to ride who else wants to go? I briefly thought about declining. I thought I don’t really want to be around anyone right now. I was still licking my wounds from the night before.  Then I thought about it. I thought how nice that someone asked me to join them on a ride. That is something that’s extremely rare for me.

I sent the reply saying I’m in. When I made it to the meeting spot there were only the couple who had sent the invite and myself. The other folks weren’t able to ride. It was decided we were hungry. So we needed an out-of-the-way place to eat. I made a phone call and got some well guarded info. Soon it was kickstands up and the low rumble of the engines. Or was that the low rumble of our growling stomachs?

Back roads were the path of choice. For me they always are. I love them. I love seeing the out-of-the-way places. I love the little pieces of history along the way. I love seeing the lives of the people who make up the true America.  I love the folks on the fringes. The ones that the mainstream media doesn’t see. The generations that have speckled the landscape of this great nation to season it with the flavor of their blood sweat and tears. That’s the America that I’m in love with.After enjoying some good grub we were off to explore some more of Tennessee. I can’t help but think of the similarities of the water passing over this dam and the people passing through my life. They’ve served their purpose and moved on along. I seem to find answers to most things when I’m enjoying nature. My mind’s eye sees more clearly when it’s outside the confines of walls. With every journey comes challenges. New bridges to cross. New hills to climb. The choice is ours to make. Do we cross them? Do we climb them? Only you can answer that. It’s the wanting to know what lies beyond that fuels this great wanderlust within us. Sometimes from a distance we can’t see who’s coming down our path. Sometimes it’s a blessing. Sometimes it’s good people who bring happiness and laughter and brighten our day. Those are the times and people to cherish in the vaults of our memories. Those are the times to relive when we’ve grown old. When we’ve grown apart. When the road has led us farther along the journey. When someone crosses our path we should greet them with a wave and a smile. Doesn’t matter what brand they ride. Doesn’t matter what group they are with. Doesn’t matter if they simply ride alone. Because when you give a smile and a wave to someone both you and they realize that you truly aren’t alone.

Ride Safe

Ronman

Cedar

I couldn’t help but get some stuff done today when I got up. Having done that I rewarded myself with a ride. The temps were in the 80′s here today in Tennessee. Gorgeous would be an understatement. I left out with a general idea in mind of where I wanted to ride. Nothing in stone though. I love riding like that. Just take whatever road the spirit points ya down.  Today was such a day.

I started on some familiar paths. With the temps this high I wanted to see if some of the local scenery was out and about. I soon came to a road I normally take. Today I decided to keep going. Sort of shake things up a bit.  I needed to do things differently. I needed to refresh myself. To clear my mind. To see some new sights.  I needed to get lost in the wonderful rolling hills of Middle Tennessee. It’s when I’m lost that I find myself. Soon I found the sort of thing that stops me in my tracks. Here it was. Someone’s collection of old signs and memories.  A cold drink bottle rack hanging on the wall full of old glass bottles. Man oh man did those drinks ever taste good from those glass bottles. Remember when you found a place that kept their machine so cold they would have slush in them. Now that was good stuff!

Traveling these new paths I’d found my mind was in overdrive. My sensory intake was at high alert. The sights. The sounds. The scents. Everything was flooding in and being processed.  Somewhere between the smell of chicken shit and fresh-cut grass a light bulb went off. There it was plain as day.

We’ve all seen the beautiful white blooms on a Bradford Pear tree. We’ve also all seen a Cedar tree.  These two trees are like people. First you have the outward beauty of the Bradford Pear. Although decorative and pleasant to the eye, that’s about all it’s good for. The wood is soft and doesn’t withstand any pressure.  A moderate wind can topple or break it. Not to mention they stink.

Some people are like the Bradford Pear.  Outwardly they are beautiful. You enjoy looking at them. They seem to be wonderful. However when you get a little closer to them you come to realize they stink.  Let the storms of life blow in and see how soon they break. They can’t take it.  They leave you with nothing but broken pieces. In fact the fire from a Bradford Pear is fast and doesn’t put off much heat. Just like these people.

Now take the Cedar tree. It’s just an evergreen. It grows mainly in the worst ground. It will grow where no other tree will grow. It’s not a flashy tree. It doesn’t grown into the huge stature of say an Oak. But the Cedar thrives where no other tree will.  If you need shelter you can use the Cedar. It’s green branches when placed together will block the wind. It will conceal you from the view of others.

Let’s look at the wood of the Cedar. Outwardly it’s sort of fuzzy. Not very smooth. Peel some of it off and it makes an excellent fire starter. Fire that can save your life.  Cut into the cedar and you’ll find beauty. The red wood is some of the most beautiful on earth. The fragrance of the Cedar is wonderful too.  Go to any town square and I  bet you’ll find old men sitting around whittling on Cedar.  How many times have you seen a hope chest made of Cedar? How many times have you seen fence posts made of Cedar?

If you want something that can protect you from the storms of life. If you want something to build a lasting place to store your valuables. If you want something to be pleasant on the eyes and your sense of smell. If you want something to relax you and give you pleasure choose Cedar.

Now I ask you, Which person are you? Are you the Bradford Pear with its outer beauty and pungent odor that can’t stand up to life’s pressures? Or, are you the meager Cedar that can thrive in less than ideal ground. That although outwardly less appealing, inwardly you bring strength, beauty, hope, longevity and pleasantries to the senses?

Ride Safe

Ronman

Life Flight

I can’t remember anytime in my recent past when I’ve gone so far into a year without riding.  When I’ve had a scooter that is.  It was about time to rectify that.  The morning started crisp and cold but I didn’t care. Today I ride.

I rolled out-of-town soaking in the sunlight. I was breathing the cold air. I was filling myself with life. This was a solo journey. Most are these days. It’s best that way it seems.  You rebuild the walls and hope somehow the shattered pieces can be mended. All the while knowing they never will.

I noticed a Life Flight helicopter as I was leaving town.  They always tend to catch my eye. Then a short while later I saw another Life Flight landing as I passed through a small town. That’s when it hit me. I was on a Life Flight. Only I was flying at asphalt altitude, to borrow a phrase from Viking Dave.

My flight took me North this morning. I was on familiar roads. I tooted the horn as I passed by the home of a friend. I knew come tomorrow when we talked on the phone he would say “you should have stopped in”. I wasn’t ready to stop yet. I needed to feel the cold wind on my face. I needed the chill of winter to soak through to the bone.  I needed that ache to feel alive.

My mind was traveling a life flight of its own.  As I climbed the ridge into another small town I couldn’t help but remember the time Daddy drove mistakenly here instead of the town we were supposed to be going to. That’s when we knew something was wrong. That was the start of the end for him. His life flight would be over shortly. He fought bravely for three years. Hell we all fought.

Soon I was crossing the state line. I had entered the land of the Love Buzzard. He’s been on a Life Flight.  He too is a fighter. I thought of the journey he’s been on for the past year and a half. He didn’t give up.  He’s the poster boy for overcoming obstacles.

Soon I was at  another town. I pulled into a parking lot thinking about what today would bring. Thinking about what life would bring. Thinking about if life would even continue. I kicked back on the Little Woman and looked at the sky. Pondering so many things as I watched high-flying airplanes and circling birds overhead. The sunshine had warmed the temperature into the lower 40s.  I think I even dozed off for a bit.

So many thoughts running through the valleys of my mind. So many memories. I wondered what memories were to come. I wondered how long my Life Flight would last. I wondered are my best days behind me or are they yet to come.

 

Ride Safe

Ronman

Another Piece of Americana Gone

Once again I’m saddened that another local business has closed.  Our Smyrna Rexall Drugs has been around for decades. Unfortunately it’s no more. I recently heard about this from my Mother. I thought surely she was confused. Unfortunately she wasn’t.  This is just another sign of the times here in America. The little man just can’t compete against the big box stores.

Smyrna Rexall was the type of place I loved doing business with. When you walked in the door your were greeted with a smile and they called you by your name.  They knew their customers. They cared about their customers.  As far as I know they were the only drugstore in town that still delivered. For myself that was wonderful. My Aunt could have her scripts brought right to her door. This was one less thing I needed to worry about.

I understand the headaches and troubles of owning a business. I’ve had one myself.  There comes a time when the hardships and struggles just aren’t worth it anymore. Unfortunately our country seems to work against the small family owned businesses. A sad but true fact. I don’t really have any answer to fix this problem. But something needs to be done.

One thing we can all do is seek out the locally owned businesses and trade with them. Sometimes it may cost a little more. But really isn’t it worth it to show them you appreciate them. Maybe you don’t do this all the time. Just think of what a difference your purchase can make. These are the people who live in our communities. The people who we should be supporting. They are the people that give back to the communities. They provide jobs for our kids.  They provide the foundations for our next generations to succeed. They lead by example showing how to appreciate customers.

I spent some time waiting on some scripts for my Aunt this afternoon at the chain drugstore that we will have to use now.  They didn’t know my name. They didn’t greet me when I walked in. They didn’t thank me when I walked out.  They did however let me know the prices would be more than I was use to paying.  Imagine that. For now I don’t have another option.  But you can rest assured that whenever possible Ole Ronman will be spending his money at the local merchants.

Thank you Lee Cole for all the years of wonderful customer service and friendship. Smyrna Rexall will be sorely missed.

Ride Safe

Ronman

Forgiveness Life and the Pursuit of Happiness

Just before Christmas I buried someone who once was very close to me. Even though we had gone our separate ways and not on good terms, I still cared dearly for them. The sad thing is neither of us would reach out to the other. I hope she knew I still loved her.  Needless to say this has been weighing heavy on my heart.  One thing is certain, I can’t do anything about it now.

I’ve always been the type of person that once I’m done with you I’m done.  The funeral and other events have me thinking over that position. In the meantime there have been some folks that have reached out to me. They have apologized. They have humbly asked my forgiveness.  I’ve decided to do just that. I’ve given them another chance.  I’m trying to learn and grow and strive to be a better person. I haven’t passed on this opportunity.

I’ve also decided that 2012 is going to be the year for me to do things differently. I’m getting back to basics in that I’m doing things that have always made me happy. This year will include scooter rides of course. It will also include more camping trips and more fishing trips. Fishing is something I grew up doing. I’ve spent far too many years doing far too little fishing. That changes in 2012.

I’ve spent the past 15 months dedicated to someone else. I’m not sorry for that. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat too.  Someone very dear to me. Someone who will always and forevermore be dear to me no matter what. In the process I’ve lost track of me. That’s why it’s time to get back to basics. That’s why it’s time to pursue happiness.

I have to once again find that happy place on my own. The one only I know about. Until I do I won’t be able to share it with anyone. Even after I do I don’t know that I’ll share it.  Only once and for one person have I ever shared everything. Frightening as it was, that’s the best times of my life.  When things were right they were better than I’ve ever known.

I took a chance. I gave in to someone. Briefly I allowed myself to live. Will I ever find that again? Only time will tell.

 

Ride Safe,

Ronman

 

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